How to be the best

So, I know what all of you are thinking. How does she do it? How in the world is she so good at so many things? How does she have time to do what she does and always with a smile. She makes it look so easy. Always put together and never with a hair out of place.

Stop, no really, you're so flattering.

Ok whatever, so I thought I would blog and let you know how to be awesome at everything you do and to show you exactly how I do it all. Be sure to get out your paper and pen. Take notes. So, here it is. Here we go. Are you ready for this?

How to have the best blog ever.

Let "them" whoever they are to say what they will about blogging several times a week to increase traffic and views. I like to mix it up. Blog everyday for awhile, then once a week, then once a month, and for the big cliff hanger. I like for them to hear crickets for a couple of months. Just enough time to where they almost forget about me and the mission. Then BAM!!! I'm back at it. Oh yeah back in business baby. Keep them guessing. What else do you have to do than waste time pulling up the blog just to find out that the last post you see is reminding you what Easter is all about? Good times right? No, not so much? Well, glad to know that I'm successful at the purpose of blogging all together.

Okay, moving on.

How to be the best at homeschooling

Just when May turns to June and the weather gets warm and the days become longer and your eleven year old son doesn't feel he can go solve one more problem in algebra, go ahead and break the news that he actually has two weeks of school left. Try and cheer him up by telling him that while he's sitting in the school room learning how Alexander the Great, even though a very evil man, was extremely instrumental in translating the Bible into Greek, he can always look out the window, point to all of his little friends and laugh because they are wasting their days playing basketball when there is no way in the world that their future 5ft 3inch self is ever going to the NBA.

Then after those two weeks pass go ahead and realize that you are missing a reading assignment. Be sure to throw your heard back and laugh in hysterics when he tells you he cant find the book. So spend an extra week wasting time looking for the book that is no. where. to. be. found. Go ahead humble yourself, swallow your pride, watch your homeschool teacher of the year dreams fly right out the window and call and have them email the assigned reading over to you in a matter of literally three seconds. So fifth grade made have lasted almost a month longer than it should have and your child may have the shortest summer break ever, but hey you have to give him something to talk to his therapist about later in life.

Moving right along.

How to have a garden that people envy

The first thing you have to do to have the best garden, is beg your husband for 3 plus years to plant one. When he tells you NO, and yes that's with a capital N.O. Because he says he knows exactly what will happen. It will quickly turn to a weed garden and it will take over our entire acre of yard. So he thinks. The next step is to start juicing. That way you have to buy an extreme amount of fresh produce on a daily basis and he will get tired of the constant trips to the store, the amount of money spent of fresh fruits and veggies, and the fact that he has to move all of the green stuff out of the way to get to the salsa gets old real quick. (not to mention that juicing is amazingly healthy for your body. Its just an added bonus)

Anyways, so after all of this and after your gracious husband agrees to finally plant you a garden. You need to be sure to employ as many family members as you can. Be sure to not just include the members of your household but also your father and your elderly grandmother in law with COPD as well. Make sure you have five people telling you what to do at a time (husband included). Also don't forget to pay very close attention to everyone else's garden planting tips, stories, and shenanigans. Oh the stories! Be sure to start planting very late in the evening so that you will have to play the fun game of beat the clock. Right when you see the last bit of light fade away quickly grab the last of the seeds and shove them in the ground and yell finished. Say a quick prayer and sweetly look over at your husband, give him a cute smile to say see this wont be that bad.

Wait a few weeks and then take in all that is yours. All of your hard work and the past three years of begging has finally paid off. Beautiful kale and cute little baby cucumbers. Ok, so our green beans and spinach didn't do so well but you could use it to toss a small salad. Brag to everyone on how your garden grows. Thank your husband for all of his hard work and tell him how we should have done this three years ago.

 Here's the part that gets good. Go crazy and stretch yourself as thin as possible. Make as many plans as you can, as a matter of fact go ahead and double book some. Be sure to attend every child's birthday party known to man, so that you have absolutely no time to pay any attention to your garden. Every morning when you go out to the garden to grab your kale and cucs for your juice, go ahead and remind yourself to add weed the garden to your todays-to-do-list. So after feeling like everyday is Groundhog Day when you look out the window at the garden, succumb to the fact that your husband was right all along and the weeds are to much for you to handle. Be honest with yourself, they are taking over everything! That's okay though because you can still get to your kale and cucs, and the juice taste just as good.

A cute little picture of our bounty. Our sons smile seems to fit my excitement a little more and our nieces smile seems to fit my husbands. Aren't they too stinking cute?

Kale/Weeds/Dirt



 

So there you have it. Just a few quick ways to be the best at all you do. Okay so the jig is up. I'm not the best at everything or even close to it. I fail a blogging, homeschooling sometimes and even gardening. There are many other things I fail at, but I'm trying. The best news of all is that even though I am not a perfect person, I serve a perfect God. One who loves me unconditionally. It still blows my mind that Jesus, who knows all of my flops, faults, and fears still loves me. Loves me enough to die for me. To have thought of me while hanging on the cross at Calvary. The God and creator of the whole earth still, still wants my heart. He owns the skies and still desires me. And you. Next time you are feeling as great about yourself as I do sometimes, remember you are loved. You are never alone. God is with you always. He will never forsake you. You are not forgotten. Your struggle and strife is not for nothing. God will work good for all who love and are called according to His purpose.  No matter if you are punching keys on the computer at the office, working road construction in the heat of the summer, running a small nation, caring for a dying family member or rocking crying babies in the dead of night, God hears you call. He knows your heart and he knows how hard you are trying. He sees your struggle. Call on His name. The name above all other names. The name of Jesus.

 

Have a blessed week and be sure to check back often. :) he he

 

Edie